Most people have lots of hurdles and challenges to face in life. If you think of you and your spouse as part of a team, you're more likely to behave in ways that make you feel more connected. You'll support each other when one of you faces a challenge and you'll make choices that build trust between the two of you.

Instead of pointing out when your spouse does something wrong, try to notice and comment when your spouse does something right. For example, if he/she constantly forgets to call when behind schedule, try doing something really nice the first time he/she does remember to call. People typically respond better to praise than to criticism.

Make a list of ten things you like most about your spouse. People in healthy marriages make a habit of doing certain things that keep their friendship, their commitment and their connection strong. Some of these behaviors come more naturally for some people than for others; however, everyone can build skills in these areas with some effort. The list will remind you that the negatives should never overshadow the positives.

You may know lots of things about your spouse already, but always striving to know more can positively affect your marriage. The more a spouse is aware of the details of the other person's world (including stressors, hopes, likes and dislikes), the better the marriage. Knowing your spouse well leads to a strong friendship, which is the true key to a long lasting healthy marriage.

It's not the big, grandiose displays of love that keep a marriage strong. It's the daily, small, positive behaviors and habits that work best. Often when couples struggle in a relationship, it's not necessarily that there are more negative behaviors, it's that they have lost the many daily kind and thoughtful behaviors that existed in the early part of their relationship.